Too Late
by klixxy
Summary: Gon has a nightmare and when he sees the empty bed at the far end of his room, he gives in to his guilt and remorse. This is a simple, KilluGon angst one shot. (If you're confused at the pronouns used in this fanfic, please read the author note at the end first although it might take away a little satisfication for the ending of the story.)


Gon screamed, his shrieks echoing through the empty space, his cage.

He stretched his arm out, desperately reaching for the faint flicker of light at the far end of the room.

Dark shadows shimmered at the ends of his vision, seemingly jeering at him through his wobbly tears.

His vision was cloudy, muddled, his eyes filled with an endless supply of salty tears.

Another scalding hot droplet streaked down his cheeks as he yelled out.

Voices overlapped each other as they grimaced at him, shoving him, pushing him down, but he stayed still, because that was what he deserved.

Through it all, he saw a face. _His_ face, through a tiny black tunnel.

 _He_ was bloody, dying, but the only thing coming out of _his_ mouth was apologies. To him.

And for what. For him? For a person so selfish and worthless like him? _He_ was so….. So kind…. But he….. He had…

The scene flickered like a dying memory. And then it was gone….. Lost forever in the whirlpool of pain.

Instead, a different scene took its place.

He was hurting _him_. Lashing out at _him_ with razor sharp words, layered with poison. But it was a poison that _he_ wasn't immune to. A poison deadlier than anything else.

But, instead of punching him, yelling at him, screaming like he deserved, _he_ just stood there, soaking it all in, but never saying anything back.

Gon punched the ground, his own cruel words ringing in his ears.

 _Stop!_

 _Make it stop!_

The scene quivered for a moment before falling into the eternal abyss of loss.

More scenes flashed through his eyes, still there, bright as day even when he squeezed his eyes shut sadly.

 _He_ was screaming, crying, all of _his_ pent up emotions pouring out in a torrent of lament.

 _He_ was crying, because of him. It was all his fault.

How many times had he made _him_ cry? How many times had _he_ stayed by his side, putting another smile up for him? Exactly how many times had Gon just continued on with life selfishly, not pausing to even consider how _he_ would feel?

Guilt and remorse were powerful things, slowly rotting him away from the inside. After all, all of this, the screams the pain, the tears….. They were all his own fault.

 _He_ screamed, sobbing as _he_ yelled out that _he_ couldn't do anything.

Gon clutched at his heart, screaming with _him._

Gon bolted awake in his bed, heart racing as the last of his screams died in his throat, hot, stuffy teardrops covering his bedsheets.

Slowly, Gon calmed down, staring blankly at his blanket as the nightmare stayed fresh in his mind.

How many times had _he_ woken up the same way because of him?

Quietly, Gon looked at the empty bed besides him, dust gathering on the pile of blankets.

Gon felt as if someone had grasped his heart and wrenched away a part of it, burning it in front of his eyes.

 _He_ was gone. And it was all his fault.

If only he had noticed _his_ pain. If only he had took a moment to think about someone other than himself.

If only….

But there was no point contemplating, there was no point in wishing, because reality was crue, cold. And no matter what he did now, it was too late.

 _He_ was dead.

Gon looked out the window sadly, wishing, hoping, that at least these last few words could reach _his_ ears. He wasn't going to beg for forgiveness, he didn't deserve forgiveness.

But he had to at least send this one last message for _him_.

" _I'm sorry….. Killua."_

Alright, for anyone that's confused, in this story, Killua is referred to as _him_ and Gon is referred to as him. Basically, if you haven't caught on, Killua is impacted so much by Gon's well….. Actions, words, everything, during the Chimera Ant Arc that he suicided. This is basically Gon regretting his decisions afterwards.


End file.
